some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs

11325 @ 2008-09-01T14:15:00

2008-09-01T18:16:14Z

"missing someone isn't about how long it's been since you've seen them last or the amount of time since you last talked. it's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you."

11325 @ 2008-05-22T00:17:00

2008-05-22T04:40:47Z

the next nigga im with needs to be able to understand:

1. i have parents, i live with them, and they give me stress.
2. i have stupid friends that do stupid things, and who have drama.
3. i have a curfew.
4. sometimes I HAVE DRAMA OF MY OWN.
5. i am 18 years old, and yes it seems that i'm more mature than other people my age, but I AM STILL 18.
6. the last nigga i was with broke my heart because i had a problem with somebody else, if you do that i will send you to the hospital.
7. if you have a problem with something, you confront me face to face.
8. i'm still in school. online, yes, but still in school.
9. don't be a pussy when we break up and leave me hanging, tell me why we are ending it and if you have any intention of coming back.. if you do or don't TELL ME so i don't hang onto something that's ridiculous and out of reach.
10. i am a very stubborn individual, and i do what makes me happy, and i change for no one.
11. don't say you love me UNLESS YOU MEAN EVERY FUCKING WORD.

if you can't fuckin deal with that, and if you fuckin break my heart because of something ridiculous like DRAMA? bitch you're going to the hospital and you won't come back out for a while.

this whole situation has made me into a very, very cold individual. i don't give a fuck anymore.

11325 @ 2007-10-28T23:27:00

2007-10-29T03:28:21Z

I won't regret saying this
This thing that I'm saying
Is it better than keeping my mouth shut
That goes without saying
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
I won't be out long
But I still think it better if
You take your time coming over here
I think that's for the best
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do

S-O-S

2007-09-07T05:03:49Z

seriously. someoneeee come and save me. this whole college thing hasn't even started and i'm scared shitless already. gahd. like honestly it's great during the day, but when it's getting towards night time around dinner i start to get really upset & teary & panicky.. ugh it sucks bungie i hate it. but then i like this city.. the school.. it's just really hard when your parents have to leaveee.

well it's been busy at college. we've been in orientation ALL WEEK oh man. it's been chaotic.

11325 @ 2007-09-02T00:28:00

2007-09-02T04:26:48Z

yeah this is kinda shitty.

i really don't feel like leaving anymore.

anyone's closet free?

11325 @ 2007-06-22T15:09:00

2007-06-22T19:00:38Z

1) i'd like tom to go away so i can enjoy my vacation in abaco.

2) i'd like my pup to come back & have her not fight all the time.

3) i'd like my computer back

4) i'd like my knee to stop twitching

5) i'd like to be able to go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 9.

please?

sweet vampirous

2007-04-03T23:54:05Z

and i got my grandmas bell today, so hurr.

it's a self portrait... cuz i got my grandmas bell anddd it's pretty amazing because.. holy shit if you ONLY knew.

11325 @ 2007-03-28T21:33:00

2007-03-29T01:31:59Z

beautiful beautiful beautiful

2007-03-24T20:59:56Z

fuck it all

2007-03-19T12:48:02Z

i absolutely loathe, despise and hate my life.

i NEVER want to go to school. NOBODY wants to go to school. i didn't want to go to school in september but i wasn't sick then. so just because i say my head hurts or i don't feel so hot doesn't mean i'm trying to skip i'm TELLING YOU HOW I FEEL. then, she's saying how i shouldn't have gone out this weekend. you know what? i know i shouldn't have gone anywhere saturday night. but yesterday was important and i could have left early but i didn't wanna just leave melissa and plus it was interesting and fun. she's like yelling at me because i should "rest" when i'm sick or i'll "bloody learn the hard way"

OK SO THAT really explains WHY she let me stay home last week. oh, what's that? my mistake! SHE DIDN'T.

but as soon as matt says he has a sore throat and an itty bitty little sniffle OMG STAY HOME MATT for as LONG as you like. she thinks he's gunna feel better by tomorrow but i guarentee that he's gunna be like no i still feel bad and he'll stay home till thursday.

fuck that shit.

i've never gone to the doctor so much in 1 month than i have in 2 years and she's saying i'm just trying to skip school. are you KIDDING me? i was gunna go today, work on my history essay during the 2 study halls that i do absolutely shit nothing in and applied science which is a waste of my time, and deal with it and go play volleyball so ms. arthur wouldn't kill me. i said "i don't know what to do - what do you want me to do?" and she made the decision to take me to the doctor this morning & to take me in at break.

now she's getting on my case so bad about all of this mumbling to herself "this is crazy" - ok you know what? i didn't ask to feel so mother fucking sick. idk what she thinks but before the break, i could go an entire day without feeling so much as a little jolt of pain in a headache. and now, i can barely make it through an entire day without feeling like i'm about to collapse. so what does she expect me to do? just ignore it and lie and say "oh i'm feeling GREAT" and then the next thing she knows i'm dead in the nurses office refusing to come home because I HAVE TO STAY TO SCHOOL.

i go to bed early every night - 10:30 (which never happens) - unless i have homework but even then i stop and go at 11. i don't eat weird foods, i take my vitamins, i take my medication, i drink as much water as i can take, i eat my fruit, i make salads if i don't like the veggies she cooks, i stay away from ALL dairy and other bad stuff like that, i spray my nose every morning & every night to get rid of the sinus stuff, i take cough medicine every night to get RID of this goddamn cough, i sleep in hoodies with double blankets to keep warm. are you KIDDING me? i'm really doing everything that one should do to get better but you know what? it's not working. i STILL feel like i'm about to die. it's like cramps, but then it turns to nausea, and then back to cramps... and the pain is so intense i have to double over sometimes not to faint. yesterday on the bus right before we went to doongalick i was starting to feel like that - but then i went to the bathroom n peed (lol) and i did feel better. but on the way home i started to feel nauseas but i was a trooper and ignored it all.

i really don't know what she expects me to do. she's always saying you shouldn't let school stress me out - LMFAO don't let school stress me out? it's SCHOOL. these teachers are fucking relentless, they don't give 2 shits about us sometimes. like mr murray just gives us ALL these things we have to do - an essay, a paper 1, the internal assessment (all in ONE week).. on top of mrs. fucking gomez who gives us so much homework i can barely remember all i have to do. every lesson it's more homework. those are the two main ones - and the thing is mr.murray thinks his class is the only fucking class i have!! i'm like what the FUCK i have like 6 other classes you know!! you are NOT the only one that expects me to do a shitload of work. art is really demanding.. and in order for me to keep up the only A that i'll ever get in my life i have to work really really really hard.. that journal doesn't write itself.. i mean don't get me wrong i love doing art homework that's about the only thing i DO actually like to do but it's still really hard and it takes a lot of time and thought that has to be shared with about 3 other teachers who expect the same hard work that sometimes.. i just can't produce.

and to top all of this shit off, i've got the cough of a lifetime. all i have to do is breathe in AIR and it tickles my throat. and because of that, i can't play volleyball today and probably not tomorrow either. i can't wait till i get to SCAD where i have like.. 2 classes a day. and then before, afterwards and in between i can just hole myself up in my dorm and never go out if i'm not feeling well. which will probably be all the time because i'm just a sickly person.

i never asked for ANY of this. i didn't ask to be ugly, i didn't ask to be good at art, i didn't ask for my anxiety, i certainly didn't beg for this weak stomach that runs in my family, i didn't ask for the cough. i didn't ask for anything. but ya know what? i still freakin got it. thanks, God. much love.

oh! and you know my mum told me the FUNNIEST thing! TOPS BURNED TO THE GROUND. yeah, my dads entire work burnt to the floor because this fucking fire department "couldn't find water." you know what? fuck this entire island. fuck EVERYTHING. the only thing that i enjoy right now is art and music and everything else in this government / island can go fuck itself twice up the ass.

wow, 1136 words. if only i could do this in my extended essay i would be fine.

11325 @ 2007-01-08T20:27:00

2007-01-09T01:26:01Z

just a reminder.

FRIENDS ONLY.

no mumblers.

drawing phase #1

2007-01-05T05:07:37Z

my eyes.

i think i have sad eyes. =/

11325 @ 2006-12-28T00:02:00

2006-12-28T05:07:59Z

OMG. i love it. i so fucking unbelievably love it. when i was getting it done it didn't hurt at all. it was just like an annoying thing that you would just swat away, haha. but the little tail on the "u" in "you" started bleeding a little for some reason. i dunno why. the rest of it just puffed up.

but oohhhh my goodness it's in the cursive script that i wanted & it's black & pretty and just really simple and sorta elegant. cuz the line itself is really simple but really meaningful. WOW I JUST LOVE IT. i love it soooooo much i'm so proud of itt!! i knew when i saw that line that THAT was what i was going to get tattooed on me. ahashagkjsklgjoaidhgojkef soooo excittinggggg!!!!

i can totally see myself back for more.

don't ever speak my name again

2006-12-23T19:02:44Z

I. LOVE. AFI.

I just got my copy of "I Heard A Voice" and OH MY GOD.

a-ma-zing.

*dies*

i don't think you understand how much i love this band. nor how much they mean to me.

AG;LKAJ;IJOKJR <333333333 so much love. i was supposed to get a tattoo today that said "i'll grow pale without you" but the tattoo artists house burned down. isn't that so shitty? fuck you, fate. for his sake. fuck you.

11325 @ 2006-12-13T20:02:00

2006-12-14T01:02:25Z

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

sigh. :(

11325 @ 2006-12-13T18:13:00

2006-12-13T23:13:57Z

i dont think God wants me to be happy.

11325 @ 2006-12-03T23:05:00

2006-12-04T04:05:55Z

the first time i listened to AFI, i had no idea what they looked like. i had no idea what they were about, i just picked up the CD in the store because i wanted to try something random & new. when i listened to it, (this is all hallows ep btw) all i could see in my head were black crows.

i still have that mental image in my head to this very day every time i listen to AFI.

i love it.

11325 @ 2006-12-02T16:21:00

2006-12-02T21:21:59Z

i'm in too deep and i'm trying to keep up above of my head instead of going under

p.s. i hate who i am sometimes.

11325 @ 2006-11-23T21:15:00

2006-11-24T02:15:11Z

11325 @ 2006-11-20T13:02:00

2006-11-20T18:02:48Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEY!!

11325 @ 2006-11-13T20:10:00

2006-11-14T01:10:16Z

we lost. it's over forever.

senior girls softball team HURRICANES 07 forever.

they may have won the championships but they lose at life for dressing like a bloody tampon.

11325 @ 2006-10-08T15:45:00

2006-10-08T20:06:11Z

truth is absolute. truth can't be percieved or molded. truth is truth. without an absolute truth, a person is lost whether you want to admit it or not. truth is unchangable and it is what is right and true and the one truth that i can depend on is Jesus Christ. in TOK i let mrs.stewart try and convince me (disguised as teaching) that everyone has a different truth, and you can have theories of truth. today when the guy was talking at grace about how we're taught unconciously to stray away from our beliefs, my brain did a 360.

now i know why i hate my TOK class. now i know why i can never understand what she's asking us to do when she says to "apply each theory of truth in turn to the statement." because you can't apply a different "theory" of truth to anything because THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUTH.

the truth is absolute and it's non-changing and if anyone wants to hate me / disagree with me then fine. my truth is God's truth and that's about as far as you'll get me to budge on that.

11325 @ 2006-10-01T00:43:00

2006-10-01T04:46:55Z

people in pain produce fucking amazing art. the funny thing about art is that you don't have to be necessarily good or bad. it's all about your own style, and your pain behind the picture. the hurt that's covered by the paint. the sadness that's drawn by a lead pencil. every click is another crack. you think artists are happy? we're never satisfied. never happy. always screwing things up. it's about time i've come to terms with that.

maybe.. just maybe it was there for a reason.

yup.

2006-09-30T20:04:32Z

i pretty much fucked over everyone including myself. i fucked everything up and i'm not denying that. i just wish some people would accept the fact that they were a part of why everything got screwed over in the first place. i apologize and i just wish others (M13) would too.

but it's okay. ever since i was little the only people i've ever had were my family. i'm pretty much used to being alone and to be honest i like it. i get upset when i can't spend time with my family. i'm not the life of the party at all and i won't ever be. i don't speak well and i hate the sound of my voice.

i'm a plain person and all i wanna do with my life is draw, and take pictures. find a boy have a family. and a dog. a really big cuddly dog. work in a magazine. page layouts. i'm not glamourous. i'm not interesting. i don't hate anybody. i cut out magazine ads and paste them in a giant scrapbook which is like a heart string. a PRIVATE heart string. i'm boring and i like goodfellas.

the end.

11325 @ 2006-02-05T10:28:00

2006-02-05T15:27:51Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM! <333